"Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God." 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

I probably should never have married.

No one deserves to be put through what my wife, Nan, has had to endure. Although I married the most fabulous gal in the world, I spent several decades taking it all for granted. I discovered early that I was gifted, and I somehow always seemed to be at the right place at the right time, and so I have enjoyed a spectacular, rewarding career. That was the problem.

We have lived an incredibly adventurous life. We have made and lost many millions. We have "done" almost everything that life has to offer. It seemed to be a fabulous adventure, indeed.

However, my family was something I presumed upon, rather than invested in. We have lived in 25 homes in our 38 years of marriage. And, like so many lives Christians included we were beautiful on the outside, but a real mess on the inside. Our marriage was essentially on the rocks, a tragic and characteristic example of our times.

But the incredible lessons that God taught Nan saved our marriage. My wife's diligence to ferret out the Scriptural basis for the amazing discoveries she has made resulted in studies that have blessed millions of lives and marriages all over the world. This is really her story.

She will present the solution.

I was the major part of the problem. But let me go back to the beginning.

The Early Years

I was reared in southern California by German parents. In fact, I can remember their getting their citizenship papers during my pre-school years. I came late in their lives and grew up in a very supportive home.

I was always somewhat of a "nerd." My unusual aptitude for technical things was to impact my entire life. I was a radio ham at the age of nine (W6OHD) and I started flying airplanes during my teens. When other guys were "hopping up" cars in high school, I was building a digital computer in my garage. That was in the late 40s; very early in the computer game!

A double (math-science) major in high school set me up to pursue a PhD in Electrical Engineering at Stanford when I received a congressional appointment to the United States Naval Academy at Annapolis. This was one of the best things that could have happened to me. Initially attracted by the glamour of it all, it broadened my horizons and gave me an appetite for adventure which I have never lost.

I graduated with honors and took my commission in the Air Force. This was before the Air Force Academy existed: a small percentage of both West Point and Annapolis graduates could elect an Air Force commission, a highly desirable option in those days. Participating in flight training and then the missile program, I eventually was a branch chief of the Department of Guided Missiles when I left the service and entered an industrial career.

I became a systems engineer at TRW; then a senior analyst with a non-profit "think tank" doing a variety of deep projects for the intelligence community and the Department of Defense.

Along the way I earned a Masters Degree from UCLA in engineering, supplementing previous graduate work in applied mathematics, advanced statistics, and the information sciences.

The Management Challenge

A major management opportunity occurred when Ford Motor Company recruited me. Lee Iacocca was attempting to deepen and broaden the company's senior management and was seeking to add a generalist from a non-automotive technical background. At first I really wasn't interested and that turned out to be precisely the posture to get spoiled rotten. When a $20 billion multinational corporation decides to flex its muscles it usually turns out to be exciting. I was on private salary roll in Dearborn for six years in a variety of senior positions. These were the days (1963-1968) that Ford was a remarkably creative place to work: we introduced the Mustang and the Twin-I-Beam truck as products, and introduced to the industry advanced techniques computer graphics, information networks, and numerically controlled machining. I also had the opportunity to establish the first international computer network.

The Dearborn years were highly rewarding in many ways, but I eventually left Ford to start my first company on my own. It was a computer network firm that was subsequently acquired by Automatic Data Processing (NYSE) to become its Network Services Division.

The Corporate Development Years

Returning to California, I found myself consulting, organizing corporate development "deals," serving on a number of boards of directors, and eventually specializing in rescuing troubled technology companies.

If a normal company gets into trouble, well-established "turnaround" specialists can come in, restructure the balance sheet, hire professionals, and move on. A high technology company, however, really has no balance sheet: its assets are mainly know-how, intellectual property, and people. The most important assets leave the company each evening! Rescuing a high technology company requires a different approach. As an engineer by training (and a promoter by temperament), I found that I seemed to be a "one-eyed man in the land of the blind." It was challenging, very rewarding, and great fun.

Over the past 25 years I have served on the boards of directors of over a dozen public companies and was the chairman and chief executive officer of six of them. I have taken half a dozen companies out of Chapter 11, and found that I thrived on the high risk, "improbable" situations.

A few fortunate successes in the early years established my credibility with major creditors the critical credential in entering a troubled situation. Chase Manhattan Bank asked me to step into a laser memory company in Silicon Valley that was in Chapter 11 and we were able to achieve some surprising results. First Interstate Bank then invited me to take on Western Digital Corporation, also in Chapter 11, and viewed by the semiconductor industry as obsolete, undercapitalized, and hopeless. Western Digital was probably the most conspicuous challenge of all and yet is now a Fortune 500 company on the New York Stock Exchange.

But there was another dimension to our life that was to prove vastly more significant.

My Special "Hobby"

I had developed a love for the Bible even before the age of ten. I made my decision for Christ in my teen years. I then spent over 40 years deepening my studies of the Bible as my primary "hobby." Even at the Naval Academy, I participated in pre-reveille Bible studies and other Christian activities.

For the past 20 years I have taught Bible studies at Calvary Chapel in Costa Mesa, California. The pressure of a substantial weekly audience kept me seriously in the Word of God, preparing and researching, without which the intense pressures of my business life would probably have made a casualty of my study time.

During those years, I took myself very seriously as an executive; but I never took myself seriously as a Bible teacher. The study of the Bible was simply something I just loved to do for its own sake. Little did I realize that the Lord had other plans.

My Day of Reckoning

A few years ago, as a result of a merger, I found myself as chairman and major shareholder of a small publically-owned development company known as the Phoenix Group International.

When we took Western Digital out of Chapter 11, I had developed a special management award known as the "Phoenix Trophy." The phoenix was a legendary bird that emerged from its own ashes, and we felt this was an appropriate symbol to honor the key managers who had "resurrected" the company. When we reorganized this later venture dedicated to undertaking similar challenges, it again seemed to be the appropriate corporate symbol. (We should have researched the legend more thoroughly: the legendary phoenix was also consumed in flames every five centuries!)

Through some very unusual circumstances, we were granted the opportunity to establish a large joint venture ($8 billion!) with the Soviet Union to supply personal computers to their 143,000 schools.

Instead of simply proposing to supply them with products, we had submitted a detailed plan to assist them in developing their own capabilities. We were also willing to deal in "counter trade" since the Russians' access to hard currency was severely limited.

After we were awarded the relationship, the Russians pointed out at a press conference in New York that 16 companies from seven countries had been competing for this opportunity for the previous three years. If I had known that beforehand, I wouldn't have even tried to compete.

The announcement opened doors around the world. The deal was unusually complex since it dealt largely with counter trade: it required the three-way transfer of commodities instead of cash. We were in the process of organizing a major financing with both European and Asian participants. It all looked very exciting, albeit quite risky.

At home in Orange County, the local press did their best to disparage the deal. They even attempted to interfere with our negotiations.

In my characteristic enthusiasm, I put everything I had into the program, including guaranteeing bank loans to the corporation, etc. Like the apostle Peter, I was always long on action and short on caution. (My Jewish friends have explained to me what a guarantor is: that's "a schmuck with a pen.")

Well, we went down. Down big. We lost everything. Our "ultimate" home; everything.

There were many reasons: the slanderous attack by the local press; a breach of trust by some of the officers; the ineffectual performance of "old friends"; an unfortunate choice of investment bankers, etc. But it was entirely my responsibility, and I got what I deserved. There are very few mistakes I've missed.

We ultimately had to put the Phoenix Group into Chapter Seven. Most of the invested capital was my own, but there were other investors who also lost significant investments.

If I had stayed in the "corporate development" field, I probably would have subsequently bounced back: that's the game. You're up; you're down; then you're up again. It's all part of a "deal-maker's" life, but the Lord had other plans.

Phase Two

In my "Biblical life," I have enjoyed wonderful sponsorship from Chuck Smith my teacher, mentor, and close friend over these many years. His tutorship and his personal example have been among the most profound influences on my life. In my opinion, his philosophy of ministry is without equal. His emphasis on the study of the Word of God, above all other things, has made Calvary Chapel unique.

I have also enjoyed a close personal friendship with Hal Lindsey. Although he was chosen as "Author of the Decade in Non-fiction" by the New York Times, to me Hal was just a mischief-making buddy for over 20 years.

When Hal heard that I was "down," he immediately dropped everything and came alongside and, if I might indulge in an indelicate metaphor, planted his boot in my backside and suggested that perhaps the Lord was telling me to make my "hobby" my profession. He pointed out to me that with my apparent personal following (from the 20 years of teaching and the subsequent distribution of the resulting cassette tapes) I could easily make it as an independent author/speaker and could be doing full-time what I really enjoyed best. It was through his personal encouragement I decided to give it a serious try.

(I later discovered from Doug Wetmore, the head of the tape ministry of Firefighters for Christ, that I had almost seven million tapes scattered around the world.)

Koinonia House

Because I had organized "Koinonia House" as a small ministry many years earlier, it became my vehicle to develop a publishing ministry. The rest, as they say, is history.

We have focused our attention on the promotion of the serious study of the Bible through the creation, development, and distribution of materials intended to be provocative, stimulating, and helpful for Biblical study.

Through incredible worldwide encouragement, we now find ourselves in the most exciting adventure of all. We've never worked harder, never been poorer, but never been happier!

Lessons From the Valley of Despair

During our corporate years, I was totally consumed with my executive career. I was in an exciting, but demanding and competitive environment, frequently undertaking commitments that many knowledgable experts felt just couldn't be done. That was part of the appeal, of course.

But the costs to my family were severe. My family my beautiful wife and four wonderful kids were the ones who paid the price. As a highly intensive, obsessively competitive and project oriented corporate "gladiator," I was totally insensitive to their needs. I looked to them for support rather than as the actual centroid of my life.

Unfortunately, that is also the common tragedy of most of my contemporaries in the executive suites of America.

The Ultimate Turnaround

Our marriage survived my abuse and neglect through a miracle. This miracle was accomplished through my incredible wife, Nancy. She unilaterally set an example and applied Scriptural principles in such a remarkable way that our marriage was set back on a proper track.

But that wasn't enough for her. As God moved in such a remarkable way in our personal lives, she steadfastly insisted on learning more and more of the Biblical basis for what was now beginning to turn our entire lives around.

(Remember, we were "practicing Christians" throughout these various escapades.)

From her research over a 15 year period, she developed a series of studies which have now been enjoyed all over the world through her personal appearances and through her well-known tape cassettes.

The Results

By discovering the real meaning of love God's Love and learning how to apply His ways in our day-to-day lives, God has wrought a miracle in our marriage, in our children, in our entire lives. The inevitable tensions are now dealt with on a Biblical basis and I am more in love than ever with this incredible woman. There's a predictable warmth and comfort in our home that was never there before.

God is not through with us yet! But what we have discovered has impacted so many lives that we felt we should try to summarize it in this book. Our prayer is that you will also find it edifying and helpful.

The amazing discoveries that God has revealed to us in our lives are really Nan's story. Let's let her tell it... Read Nancy's testimony in Chapter Two.